As everyone who has ever been in a relationship (or around those in a relationship) knows, they require a lot of work. The challenges of a long distance relationship (LDR) are similar to those of couples living near one another. Being in an LDR, though, might require different strategies to achieve high levels of trust, honesty, communication, and commitment than couples living near one another who have greater face-to-face opportunities to develop a healthy relationship. Thankfully, technology has allowed us to maintain more regular contact with our loved ones via text, phone, and Skype.
From my experience in LDRs, these are some of the things that have helped my relationships work:
1. Talk often ? this doesn?t necessarily mean talking every day (but it might!). Communicating often lets your partner know that you are thinking about them and keeps them informed on the little day-to-day things that they might miss.
2. Have the same goals for your relationship ? how long will you be apart? Do you plan to relocate to where your partner is at some point? Do you intend to get married? Having similar goals and expectations for your relationship is especially important when deciding to invest in an LDR.
3. Put forth effort ? this can be a bit more challenging in LDRs, but sending little messages or gifts, alternating visits to see one another, and (of course) communicating are a few things that demonstrate effort!
4. TRUST! The only way an LDR will work is if you fully trust the other person. You cannot always know what they are doing, or consistently be around them, so you have to trust that you are both committed to one another.
5. Enjoy your independence ? It is great to have time together with your partner, but this happens less often in LDRs, so take advantage of your time apart. It is important to grow individually, outside of your relationship.
Thankfully, I had a year and a half with my partner before our relationship became long distance. I had time to build trust and to decide if this was a relationship in which I wanted to invest the time and energy necessary to maintain an LDR. The extended time we spend apart is challenging at times, but I enjoy the freedom to focus on my goals and to grow individually. That being said, I also look forward to our daily conversations and time together. Some of the best times we have had together are after long periods apart. Of course all relationships require a lot of time, energy, and work?LDRs just require the use of some different techniques. Understanding these challenges and having similar expectations for your relationship will better prepare you to make the decision to enter an LDR!
- Angela Whitaker
This entry was posted in ACHMI, AHMREI, Alabama Healthy Marriage and Relationship Education Initiative, Angela Whitaker, Communication, dating, healthy relationships, Long Distance Relationships, Long-term, Relationship Smarts, Relationships, success and tagged ACHMI, AHMREI, Angela Whitaker, communication, healthy relationships, Long Distance, Long Distance Relationships, Relationships, success, Technology. Bookmark the permalink.Source: http://wp.auburn.edu/ahmrei/making-distance-work/
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